Freaking Out


freakin

This is one of those times when you breathe through your nose and you wanna feel it reaching to your lungs but somethings kinda blocking the airways and you feel like being strangled without knowing the reason you can’t feel the satisfaction of breathing.

It’s all so vague and I can’t seem to foresee anything from the future. It makes me feel cold going thru all this. I feel like I have no one to turn to. I have friends but I feel stupid running to them for the mess that I have inflicted myself. I feel it’s better to think things over and over until I figure out what to do.
There you go again with the shortness of air in my lungs! I keep telling myself no one is to blame about everything but me,only me. Now figure out what to do with the mess you created. You have done a good job in so far as creating all the miseries you have trudged on all your life! Job well done! Kudos to you!!!
I wonder what could this illness be. Inflicting harm to yourself by making decisions without even thinking about the consequences it would come about. Sometimes I would consider consulting a professional who could unfold this lunacy as I think it is. I often ask myself why do I do these things? Why haven’t I decided to do the other way, maybe things would’ve been a bit different if I did that…or, maybe not.
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